Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
