so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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