I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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