Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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