But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
