no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
