So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
