ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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