I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
