i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
