Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
