im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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