she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
worst night to have a conscience
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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