She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
