so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
