I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
