Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
