I wannas sexs uuuuu
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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