Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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