Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
