idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
