I didn't shave. On purpose
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
