Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
