Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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