I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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