Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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