im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
