One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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