I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
