yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
