***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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