I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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