When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
