can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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