Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize