I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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