Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
