You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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