i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I want to be your penis for a week.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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