69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
