I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
