What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
