..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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