Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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