you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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