if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
