the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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