My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
