Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize