I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
