she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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