You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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