As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize