Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
