Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
