i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
