Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
