I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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