Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
