yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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