brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
