She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
